I know this is quite long overdue...my 'Fellowship of the Blogs' companions are all way ahead of me. But I got dubbed as Pippin and he's kind of a slacker, right? So...I'm just fitting the character...speaking of the other people in this fellowship, they won't stop the facebook conversation we're having and it's taken me like 10 minutes to write this much. Anyway, moving on.
Most of the time I have no idea what these posts are going to be about until I sit down and start writing them. With the feminism one, I knew because I'd had it in mind for a long time. But usually I just sit down and start spewing random thoughts until something serious or not so serious is created. Like now. I've kept you going for this long and I still have no clue what this is going to end up being about. But you're interested to find out and you're enjoying my witty banter, so you're going to keep reading! I have enticed you! And those of you who are sarcastic and bitter are thinking about pressing the 'X' button right now just to prove me wrong. That's right. I know who you are...
Alright I think I stalled long enough to decide on something. My apologies.
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to be self-serving? For the past few months I've been in a sort of....dry period I suppose you could say, spiritually. I do this thing where I subconciously start to think I can handle my life by myself and I don't need God. Then slowly it becomes a concious thing, where I have the clear choice to either humble myself and beg for God's guidance or just close off my mind and heart to Him and live based on what I think is best...and I'm pretty much as useless as a three-legged dog. Don't tell me I'm the only one who does this. Well...maybe I am. But it's pretty messed up.
This attitude is really messed up, because it makes me into someone I really don't want to be. And I don't even realize it. When I start thinking I can handle life on my own, I become selfish and I only want to do what will make me happy. I stop caring about God's wish that I reach out to other people. I stop asking how I can pray for them, asking how they're doing in general, and just generally caring about their wellbeing. It's because I build up a wall in between myself and the agenda of the Gospel. The longer I let the wall stand, the harder it is to tear down.
Personal confession aside, whenever this happens I go read the story in Ezekiel 16. It's God talking to Israel, giving them an allegory to show how rebellious and sinful they've been towards Him. He tells the story of a woman who was cast off and forgotten at birth, and how He saved her, bathed and clothed her, gave her fine jewels to wear, etc. And then she becomes prideful. God says "But you trusted in your beauty..."
So here's my ultimate question. How many times to we "trust in our beauty"? God saves us and makes us clean and new, gives us His Spirit and we begin to radiate with eternal beauty. But for some reason we get prideful and start to think this beauty comes from us. Then we walk away from God because obviously, we can get by on our own merit....even though it all comes from Jesus. And then we end up on our knees asking Him to forgive us for our pride and rejection.
Well this didn't feel good to write, but it was probably good that I did. Moral of the story being: don't ever take yourself too seriously.
Well, I'm off for second breakfast. Next time we'll write about something a little more happy. Until then!
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